When in Doubt
by ALittleMarionette
Summary: Sirius had always had never quite agreed with his family, and getting sorted into Gryffindor was only the start of his deviations. But when he was quite young, he met a girl that helped open his eyes even wider.


Her name was Emilee Denova… Emilee of the Stars.

And it had been her eyes that made the name seem so appropriate. So pale, ringed in the lightest of grays, with a light of life in them so bright in could have outshined the sun. The eyes were like stars, she had been told once, 'if you look at them at different times, in different lights, in different places, it seems like the hues they possess is constantly shifting. Like a star, or even an opal. It's like your eyes are hiding a rainbow from the world.'

"Emilee, be careful, and stay close!"

The little girl turned to look her mummy, eyes wide open in annoyance, with one hand on her hip and the other gesturing widely. For an 7 year old she had a lot of spunk and personality, which was showing now. "Muummmm!" she whined. "It's a playground, I'm meant to play!" The mother sighed, and then giggled at her child's antics. "Well just stay close. I'll be over here talking to daddy if you need me, okay?" the child waved away her mother's cares, and turned back to face the playground.

To the seven year old, it seemed huge, and a place ripe to explore. When her mummy had said they were moving for her job, it had confused the girl, but now she understood, exactly what it had meant. It meant new places, new faces, and most of all, new explorations.

Emilee was an expert explorer, and she made sure to explore every nook and cranny of the playground, from under the slide to the top of the highest rope climb. But her favorite spot wasn't actually a part of the playground, but it took the form of a tree.

When she had first spotted the tree, she thought it was the biggest tree she had ever seen, with its branches reaching out, covering the sky, its bare spindly fingers reaching out to embrace the world. She had circled it, realizing it had to be as wide across as her mummys car, at least, if not bigger. She had run her hand along the bark, feeling the roughness of the aged tree, marveling at how strong the wood was, even in death. Then she had saw the small opening, and a made her best discovery yet. Emilee, the best explorer in all the world, excitedly looked through the opening, and realized that this amazing tree was in fact, only a shell. She stared it determinedly, having a glaring contest with the whole, trying to think of some why to widen it. Then it hit her. Quickly, before her seven year old mind could stop her, she shoved her foot into the hole.

The old dry wood cracked and splintered, and Emilee eagerly started to pull at the rotted wood, making the whole big enough to crawl into.

When she was finally inside the tree, she realized that it had hallowed all the way up and across, and that she could easily stand up. Her mouth was wide open in amazement, and her arms were limp at her side. She had just found her new favorite place in the world.

Emilee stared out her bed room window, angry, sad, and all together unhappy. She was eleven now, and things had changed drastically. Her da' hadn't taken her to the park today like he had promised, instead he had come home and started to drink one of the drinks in the fridge that mummy had said she wasn't allowed to have. He had told her he would take her in an hour. But then he had another. And another. And then she had stopped counting. Now, four hours later, he had passed out on the couch, and eleven year old Emilee was angry. She wasn't stupid. She didn't sleep through the arguments like her parents thought.

She had heard Mum call Da a drunk, and a lazy ass, among other more insulting things. Emilee didn't like it when her parents argued, it scared her, and she would lock her door before falling asleep. But tonight Mum had to work late, and Da had promised that he would take her to the park instead. But he hadn't. He had come home, and started to drink his beers, and now he was dead to the world.

Emilee stared out into the drizzling rain, sighing, and letting go of her anger.

When Mum had first called Da a 'drunkard', Emilee hadn't quite understood the word.

So the next day, when mum took her to the library like she tried to do every Monday, Emilee had looked it up in the dictionary. 'someone with a inhibiting dependency on alcohol.' She had then had to look up what alcohol and inhibiting meant as well, but by the end of her research, she had come to gather it was a very bad thing, and that beer wasn't an innocent drink like she thought.

Now here she was, all because of her Da's stupid drunkard-ness, and wanting to just go to the park.

Suddenly, the eleven year old sat up. Why couldn't she go to the park? It was right down the street, and she could see it from the house and the house from it. Standing up, she made her way to the coat closet, and slid on her rain coat and rain boots. She also grabbed her explorer's kit, an Indiana Jones style satchel that had all of any explorers needs. Well, it held a few books, a flash light, a few snacks, and a small blanket to sit on. So it held this growing explorers needs. Very happy with her decision, she slipped out of the front door, her father's light snores and sound of some tv show echoing to an otherwise empty house.

He wasn't exactly sure where he was, or how he got here, but all he knew was that this light drizzle had slowly soaked him through and he was tired and hungry. He had been holed up in this tree hiding in it before the sun had set, and now too scared to leave. So much for Gryffindor courage.

He snorted.

Gryffindor. That's what had caused this mess in the first place. The first day of Christmas hols, and here he was, with a black eye, and busted lip, and kicked out of his house, all because he had been sorted into the 'wrong' house. He hadn't even had to say anything to make them angry this time. They knew he wasn't remorseful about the hat's choice, and that was enough to inspire the punishment of beating and banishment. Not that he was truly banished. After all, his parents had appearances to keep up. He gave it a week tops before his father would track him down and bring him back to the house, only to lock him in his room.

Sighing in defeat, the boy pulled his coat tighter around him, and curled his small frame into a tight ball. Hopefully his jacket would be enough to keep him from freezing in the cold winter night.

He listened to his own breath, in, then out, slowly counting them, hoping to fall asleep. He heard alight crunching, steady, but light, probably a dog sniffing around. But then a bright light invaded his space, and he opened his, staring into a bright light, held by something he couldn't see. Had his father already come out, scared that the boy might actually die? His thoughts were proved wrong as the stranger spoke. "Who are you?" the young girl's voice rang out. "And _why_ are you in _my _tree?"

Originally, she had been angry that he would be in _her _tree, but then she saw exactly in how sorry of a state the boy had been in. She had realized by his expensive clothes that he wasn't homeless, simply hurt, and definitely lost.

But the boy had boldly stared at her in response to accusation. Not scared at all. Oh no, this boy had had bravery written all over his face. Suddenly his stomach growled, as if it sensed the food in her pack. "You wouldn't happen to have something to eat?" the boy asked, causing Emilee to dig in her pack and pull out a granola bar and a juice box. Not saying a word, she sat down to examine the boy across from her. He had to be her age, with a dark mess of curls on top of his head, and blue gray eyes that showed more emotion then his otherwise cool exterior let on. "Are you lost?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. He broke their eye contact, looking out of the tree's makeshift door. "You could say that." Was his cryptic answer.

"Well." She said, after a pregnant silence. "My name is Emilee." She then waited for him to respond, but he just stared at her. She sighed. "I just fed you, the least you could do is tell me your name." Visibly, the boy sat up straighter, as if trained. "Sirius." He said, "My name is Sirius Black." Emilee only nodded in response, and they sat in silence for e a few more moments, before Emilee finally realized she should probably get home before her mother. She stood up rather quickly, starling the boy. "I'll leave the bag with you. It has a blanket, and some more food…." Her voice trailed off. "if you're here in morning, I'll bring you something else, okay?" the boy's only response was a rather somber nod, and then Emilee took her flashlight and quickly made her way home, feeling rather naked without the large bag bouncing at her side.

Emilee was fifteen, and sitting on one of the swings in the playground, reading Hamlet, and not paying much attention to the world around her. So when someone walked up behind her and put their hands over her eyes, it made perfect sense of her to scream bloody murder.

"Calm down, Starchild!" Sirius said, using his nickname for the girl. When he had found out her last name was De Nova, he had thought the nickname perfect. She had hated it at first, but now it was a part of her, as much as her love for painting and her obsession with books.

Suddenly her scream turned to laughter as she realized who it was who startled her, and she stood up from the swing, stretching for a moment before she bent down to retrieve her book. Sirius watched curiously, before plucking the hardback from her hand curious as to what had absorbed his friends attention. The actual cover of the book was blank, so he turned it open, looking for the title page, but he was distracted instead by something else.

In the top left corner right inside the book, it very neatly said:

This book is property of Emilee Nineveh Denova.

Sirius snorted. "Nineveh? Your middle name is Nineveh?!" the teenager couldn't help but start laughing uncontrollably.

Emilee glowered at her friend. "My first day seeing you since you got back from your bloody boarding school, and you're going to make fun of me for my middle name… some friend you are." Turning away from Sirius, she sat back in the swing.

Sirius pushed Emilee lightly in the swing, trying to get back in his friends good graces. "Oh, come on, love. I wasn't making fun of you," he started, still making the swing rock lightly. "I just would have expected something a little less…. Well, pompus." Sirius stopped pushing the swing and came around to stand in front of Emilee, giving her his trademark puppy dog eyes. "Am I forgiven?" he asked. Emilee rolled her eyes.

"Of course you are." She said, standing up once again. "Now come on and walk with me. I wanna hear about your year. It's bad enough I can't talk to you when you're gone, I've had to wait a whole year to hear if that friend of yours has made that red head fall in love with him yet!" she exclaimed, only to have Sirius start laughing.

"I'm glad that's the first thing you always ask about." He said, as they made their way out of the playground and onto the sidewalk. "and the answer is no. however, we managed to pull some rather amazing pranks."

Emilee snorted. She had come to know Sirius very well over the last few years, especially when he kept showing up bruised, battered, and hungry in her tree. She had never asked questions, but rather she seemed to unconditionally accept the boy, and decided to just be a comforting shoulder and a good friend. As a result, she probably knew more about his home life then he had ever told anyone, except maybe his best mate James.

And Sirius had done the same for her. When her mother had finally divorced her dad when she was thirteen, he had been there, along with the unexpected death of her grandparents last year.

But there was one thing she had realized above all. Him and his group of friends definitely lived up to the name they had created for themselves.

She snorted. Marauders indeed.

Over the course of the summer, Emilee's sixteenth birthday came to pass. It was August sixth, and she found herself waiting for Sirius outside of a local auto parts store as she went in to get a part for his current project. It was a motorcycle or something like that, but Emilee found her mind too distracted to really pay attention. She hadn't even properly realized that Sirius had exited the shop and that they were moving until she forced herself to come to a stop.

"Sirius, I have something to tell you." The boy was stopped by her suddenly serious attitude, and found himself staring into her very pale eyes. The almost white iris were what reminded him most about the stars, the way in different lights and situations they seemed to adopt different hues, and seemed to constantly shift like star light. Just as suddenly as she made eye contact she broke it again, looking down and closing her eyes. "Sirius." She started, taking a deep breath. "My mother was offered a really amazing job recently." Normally, this would be fantastic news, but with the way Emilee was acting, Sirius found himself waiting for the catch.

And then it came. "So we're moving."

Sirius didn't know how to respond, so he didn't. Emilee was his rock in hard times, and they suffered through a lot with each other at their sides. And here she was, leaving. He couldn't let his best friend just up and go. No way, no how. So he did the only logical thing. He left first.

And Emilee didn't say a word. She didn't feel like she had the right too.

Sirius's first act after storming off was to go and angrily add the new part to his bike. His best mate was lazily sitting against a tree, and shining an apple. The truth was that Sirius being flustered and actually phased by something was a novel thing, and James Potter was highly amused at how childish the supposed man was acting.

"I can't believe it! Just out of nowhere- 'oh, hey, by the way, I'm leaving and you'll never see or hear from me ever again." The black haired teenager suddenly disappeared from James's vision to tighten a bolt, causing James to sit up and walk around the bike so that Sirius would be able to hear him.

"Did she really say it that way? I mean those words, exactly?" he said, poking fun at his friend and trying to make him see how ridiculous he was being at the same time.

Sirius's eyes screwed up in confusion, not sure where his friend was coming from. He leaned over to tighten another bolt. "Well, no, all she actually said was that she was moving, but-"suddenly, something rather thick hit the side of his head, and he jumped up staring accusingly at James. "Bloody hell, mate! What in Merlin's name did you do that for?" the apple had rolled to a stop a foot or so away, and James picked it up, reshineing it.

"Well for starters, you're an idiot." Sirius looked ready to argue, but James held a hand and shook his head. "Nanh unh. I'm not finished. Muggle's may not have owls or be able to apparate, but that does not mean it's the end of the world." He took a bite of the apple and chewed, letting the words sink in.

"You mean…. She wasn't just going to end up leaving forever?" Sirius asked.

James snorted. "no, she wasn't. you, my dramatic friend, over reacted…. Like always."

Fretting, the boy pushed his black curls out of his face, and ended up smearing grease on his cheek. "what do I do?!" he asked hopelessly.

"Welllll… you have a working motorbike, and an apology. I say you get on said motorbike, to go make aforementioned apology."

Sirius nodded, too caught up in his problem to realize James was making fun of him. He sat on the bike and looked down. Well, here goes nothing. Praying he had done something right, he turned the key, and relief washed across his face. "Tell Mum I'll be back for dinner."

James nodded. "Get on with it, ya big git."

And with that Sirius was driving down the drive way, a man on a mission.

The drive was took a good twenty minutes, and Sirius couldn't help but keep thinking he had just lost a very good friend over a huge misunderstanding. She had to be at the park. She'd be waiting for him, reading whatever novel she was on this time, knowing that he'd come back. He always apologized to her when he messed up. She knew that. So she'd be waiting.

Only she wasn't. He was too late. And she was gone.

…..

Hey guys, thank you for reading this. This story came into my head, and begged to be written, so I hope it was as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write.

Let me know what you thought, please and thank you


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